Reasons Why Your Ex Continues To Use You
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The fact is that many women are constantly manipulated by their exes because if not, there wouldn’t be so many dating blogs catering to this very subject.
If you want to know why your ex who you can’t let go of won’t stop using and hurting you, there are a few key reasons why:
1. You’re Always There When They Need You
When I was an immature douche years back, I knew I had an ex wrapped around my finger by counting the number of rings it would take for her to pick up my phone call. I knew that my ex would always pick up my phone call DAY or NIGHT and I could hear her smiling on the other end.
2. You Talk Sh*t About Your Current Relationship
If you’re hanging out with your ex-boyfriend and if you talk about your current boyfriend and how he disappoints you in certain departments, this does not make your ex want you back. Sure, it may seem like that, but you’re really just building up his ego–nothing more and nothing less. You’re also sending the message to him that you’re vulnerable and easy to take advantage of. Why else would you be dishing out dirty details of your relationship if you were totally over the ex you’re divulging your secrets to?
3. He Knows He Has Power Over You
This is the age of social media which makes it easy for a guy to manipulate their ex-girlfriends. I will let you ladies know that if we dated you, we know if you’re carrying a torch for us. We see the ambigious relationship quotes you post on Twitter moments after we tweeted. We see your sudden new interest in things we like when you brag about it on FaceBook. Also, if you are blogger, (which most of us are now) we have seen your blog. We follow it even if we don’t comment. A love-lorn ex online most likely always divulges their feelings for a certain ex and we know who you’re talking about. By putting all your emotions and thought online, we know you are quite literally an open E-book.
4. He Knows He Has Power Over You
This one is harsh to say but a guy will only manipulate and use a girl if they know they have no respect for themselves. Think about it: If you had respect for yourself, would you constantly cater to some as*hole’s ego, libido and narcissism? No, you wouldn’t. Would you beg for him to cuddle with you in hopes of him staying longer? No, you wouldn’t.
Now although I sound a tad on the self-righteous side, there is no denying that there is truth in the things I had just listed. Before I was going to spout out the latest round of dating advice to my sis, (which she would undoubtedly ignore) I had asked her what was so special with this guy.
“Look at you! I read your articles and see how you changed for Sabrina. You pulled the same thing he did and you ended up together! Why can’t I have that as well?” she said.
It was then I felt like crap. I didn’t realize how much my sister was comparing my own relationships with her own. I had no idea how much influence I had on her and for that I felt slightly responsible for the situation she got herself into. It was time I put my “big brother” hat on.
I sat at the pub with her for a few hours comforting her and made her erase and block him from her phone and social media accounts on her BlackBerry.
After she had left, I took a little stroll to where her ex works.
You see, I have been fully aware of her interaction with dickhead online. I knew she wasn’t a stalker and that she was telling the truth. So I had already checked his FaceBook and found out which bar he bartended at.
Lo and behold, there he was “Mr. Medium-cute” standing there smoking a cigarette on the patio. I took the opportunity to do my best drunk impression and ask if I could borrow his phone to call a cab. He rolled his eyes and handed me his phone. I scrolled through his contact list and there it was: my sister’s phone number under the name of “STALKER.”
I then walked over to him and as I went to hand him the phone, I purposely dropped it and stomped on it. Before he could attack, I punched him square in his jaw and sent him sprawled on a table and walked away.
I don’t know why I did it. Maybe it was to avenge my sister’s broken heart and maybe it was the large amount of whiskey I had consumed. However, a big part of me wanted to do it for all women who had their hearts ripped out by men who constantly use them. (Jesus, what has come over me?)
Now if you excuse me, I have to change my ice-pack. My hand is killing me.